Ode To My Magnetic Muse ~ A Poem

Ode To My Magnetic Muse

flying, swirling - random tossed - some slip the edge,
lost for now, though many will be seen again.
choose wisely the magic few, then slip them
into order, rythym, rhyme - edit, change, rearrange.
limited by pre-ordained vocabulary, thus forced flowery -
yet still this process opens mind, heart, soul - turns me inside-out.
cursed 120 yields not - it limits, yet looms large, and is difficult to please.
known now that it gives more greatly than takes, but felt at first too much asked of me -
required to not just fill in blank space, simply, easily, lightly -
but to create, to give birth to thoughts previously unknown to conscious self.
deep effort rewarded when these new-freed dreams, memories, insights come forth
some hard-faced, sad, even unwanted - some bring tears, remorse, guilt.
more bring joy, pleasure, fantasy, and this new confidence of growth.
all then finally seen as unexpected gifts from maligned limited space.
i open them, feel them, and then happily give them away, released to fly -
some float gently like butterflies, some wildly like just-uncaged birds.
i am allowed now to see them unbound, unlimited, in unschooled untamed free-flow form.
quickly my precious twitterings fly to the web-world, briefly appearing to other's eyes.
do they see what i feel? or even look at all? no matter, for the experience is yet another gift to newer me.
greatful, yet human, i am wanting, needing more of this burden-gift, this feeling-drug, addicted,
so must i start again, and yet again - not able to stop - magnetised,
hypnotised, mesmerized, in a trance, minutes hours flow away forever -
but truly, what cost time when self-knowing thoughts in words captured - freed
and precious heart-healing poetry the gilded-prize realised?